Last night, Ben and I went to Shane and Naomi's for dinner. And it got weird.
It was the four of us, plus Reed, a former co-worker of Naomi's, and his girlfriend Marisa, and Didi and Pete (Or "Didi" and "Peety" as Naomi call them). Pete is Shane cousin, and Didi is his wife.
Naomi made a four-course vegan feast that the rest of us could not stop raving about. I could never be a vegan because of my deep and abiding love for both cheese and bacon, but honestly, I didn't feel like anything was missing from the meal – it was both intensely satisfying and delicious. And the company was great as well; Naomi was her usual bubbly self, Shane was more reserved but still warm, and the other couples were friendly and interesting.
After dessert – a vegan lemon cake with chocolate glaze, Naomi suggested we move the party into the living room.
"We have to go," Didi said apologetically. "I wish we could stay later, but we told the sitter we'd be home by 11:00 and it's going to take us awhile to get home."
Naomi made an exaggerated frown. "Boo," she said. "Next party's at your place, so we can stay up all night."
"Deal," Didi said. They gathered their things, said their goodbyes, and left.
"Cranium?" Naomi suggested. We agreed, and she got out the game. After a few rounds, Marisa started yawning.
"I better get you home," Reed said to her, and then turned to us. "Marisa's coworker is on vacation this week, and she's had to work like 60 hours."
"You poor thing!" Naomi said. "Go. Get some sleep."
Ben gave me a "wanna go?" look.
"No," Naomi said, busting him. "You two have no excuses to go home. Stay."
After Reed and Marisa headed out, Naomi refilled our wine glasses.
"Shane and I are going to do a super quick clean-up," Naomi said. "Fifteen minutes max. Otherwise we're going to cry when we wake up in the morning to the mess."
"Do you want help?" I offered.
"Absolutely not."
When Naomi and Shane came back with yet another bottle of freshly-opened wine, things started to get weird.
"We have a question," Naomi began once she was seated across from us. "Are you guys monogamous?"
A look of panic flashed over Ben's face. "Um, yeah. Why?"
Shane gave Naomi a warning look from his chair, but she ignored him.
"Here's the thing," she said. "We're not. But we have rules about it."
"Naomi," Shane pleaded. "I don't think…"
"Oh come on, Shane," she snapped. "It's not like you haven't been dying to have sex with K. ever since we met them. We might as well ask."
"The answer is no," Ben said, standing up abruptly. "And we are going to go now."
"Is that what K. wants?" Naomi asked.
"Yes," I said, shocked.
"I'm sorry," Naomi said. "I guess I just misread the situation."
"I didn't," Shane mumbled.
As Ben and I quickly grabbed our stuff together, Shane sulked in his chair and Naomi apologized profusely.
"I hope we can still be friends," she said. "We love hanging out with you guys, and will totally respect your boundaries."
Ben and I didn't respond. We hurried out of there, and once we were a couple of blocks away, stopped to catch our breath.
"Okay, seriously," I began. "What the hell just happened?"
"Naomi and Shane just tried to have sex with us," Ben said, a bewildered look on his face.
"Who does that?!" I demanded.
"Naomi and Shane, apparently. And I'm not even going to say I told you so. That's how freaked out I am right now."
We grabbed a cab back to Ben's place.
"This is in no way a reflection of my feelings for you," Ben began. "But I do not want to have sex tonight."
"Me neither!" I said.
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