How to Win Over a Guy in 10 Seconds

Sure, you could put on a sexy outfit, give him flirty looks, and hope he gets the message. Or you could follow these pieces of advice from comedian Amy Schumer and guarantee that you get laid tonight. Oh, and Amy's visiting the Cosmo office today so Tweet us any questions you have for her. redesignPageHead ABOVE SHOULD EXIST ON ALL ARTICLE PAGES (FOR NOW) (IE style comments prevent IE6 character repeat bug on Video Gallery Landing Page) Special Offer

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1. Approach him at a bar and say in a sexy voice, “Hi, do you have gonorrhea? Do you want it?”

 

2. Make out with your hand, giving it some long, wet, sensual kisses, to ensure he’s aware of your skills.

3. Casually drop your birth control prescription in front of him so he knows you're down to party.

4. Wear a maternity shirt and say, “Dress for the job you want, right?”

5. Insult everything about him so he thinks you’re better than him. That’s a huge turn-on.

6. Talk about all your favorite Ani DiFranco and Tori Amos songs, then offer to sing him a medley of each one.

7. Let him know that you don’t swallow because of your nut allergy.

8. Begin sobbing uncontrollably out of nowhere, and refuse to explain why. Men love mystery.

9. If he offers to buy you a drink, request a vodka cranberry and mention that you’ve been trying to kick this UTI for weeks.

 

10. Ask to borrow his phone then erase all the numbers but yours. He’ll know you mean business. He may be mad now, but he'll appreciate it later.

 
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And follow Amy on Twitter.

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