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1 of 2» In the era of blogs and social networking, you might not think men have many secrets anymore. Well, ha. We have a whole mess of undercover behavior you should know about. You'll respect us if we're honest, right?
We Masturbate — a Lot
Yes, men think about sex, well, constantly, and that drives us to lengths that might surprise you. Maybe it's in the a.m., while you're showering. Or before you get home from work. Or even while you're asleep and we're still up, watching TV in the next room (thanks, Cinemax!). This isn't due to a flaw in our sex life; it's just part of our routine. "It's a relaxation technique," says Aaron*, 26. "My girlfriend has a glass of wine after work, and I masturbate my stress away."
We Enjoy Chick Flicks
Not that you'll find Beaches on our Netflix queue, but "the comedies are genuinely enjoyable," says Andrew, 27. "I'm almost not ashamed to own The Break-Up…okay and Love Actually." Truth be told, many beloved guy flicks, like Wedding Crashers and Old School, are big on the let's-stay-in-love-baby plot points. Now excuse us while we do a shot of whiskey to reassert our masculinity.
We Google You
Actually, we Google you, Twitter you, Facebook you, and if we had a friend in the FBI, we'd FBI you too. We're hoping to discover anything you like or don't like so we can say the right thing on dates. We know it's insecurity talking — it's not like we gain some psychological advantage by knowing that you played violin in high school. On the bright side, sometimes our snooping pays off. "When I found out that my crush blogged about indie music, I knew it was the perfect in," explains James, 30. "I bought tickets to a Shins show and asked her out. We had a blast."
We Have Fat Days
We don't expect to be Matthew McConaughey clones, but we're still not as confident about our looks as we seem. We'll put on a tee shirt and suddenly notice the start of a beer belly. Or we'll pull on those favorite jeans only to find a pair of newborn love handles creeping over the top. "There's no warning," says Dave, 28. "I'll see myself in the mirror and think When did I start looking like that?" Just noticing it is embarrassing — admitting it out loud would make us feel like, well, a girl. It's nearly enough to cause a man to consider giving up his daily bacon-and-cheese breakfast sandwich. Nearly.
*Names have been changed.
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