Here's what everyone had to say about the weekend, when all was said and done:
Mom on Ben: "He's just lovely, K. He seems very kind, and generous, and he's quite handsome."
Mom on Ben's mother and sister: "I suppose we won't have to see each other much, just for weddings and graduations and such."
LB on Ben: "He seems like a nice guy, though I'm not sure how you managed to snag a guy that good-looking when you're so annoying."
LB on Ben's mother and sister: "Those bitches are crazy."
Danielle on Ben: "I didn't think guys that hot, nice and funny all at once actually existed. It's like someone cooked him up in a lab using DNA from Jon Hamm, Ian Somerhalder and Paul Rudd."
Danielle on Ben's mother and sister: "I'm pretty sure Ben's adopted."
Dad didn't have much to say, naturally, but when pressed, admitted that he liked Ben.
When I pressed Ben on what his family had to say about us, he hesitated at first.
"They really liked you," he said.
"And what did they say about my family? Come on, you can tell me. I'm not going to tell them or be offended."
"They both said their own version of 'they aren't really our kind of people'," he admitted. "And then we kind of got into a fight."
"Oh no, why?" I asked. "It's okay if we're not their kind of people!"
"It's hard to explain," he said. "Basically, my mother and Lori have this really strong relationship. They're a lot alike. They lump my father and I together, like we're somehow the same, when we're absolutely not. And they do it on a way that implies that they're somehow better than us, that they're nicer, or more genuine people, and it pisses me off because it makes me feel like there's nowhere in my family where I really belong. I feel a lot like an alien in my own family. I love them all, but when it comes down to it, I guess they're not really 'my kind of people.' Does that make sense?"
"It does," I said, suddenly very sad for Ben.
"Don't look like that," he said, pulling me on top of him on the couch. "Don't get that 'poor Ben' face. I have amazing friends who I consider my family, and an amazing girlfriend who I consider part of that group, too. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I just find my family judgmental and exasperating sometimes. Now what did your family say?"
I sugarcoated what they'd said a bit, especially LB's assessment of Lori and his mom. I'm sure he'd sugarcoated it for me, too. And my mom was right – if Ben and I have a future together, it's not going to matter much whether our families like each other. I'm pretty sure mine would be more than happy to adopt Ben, though. He's definitely their kind of people.
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